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Wednesday 4 August 2010

Film Reviews by Yours Truly....aged about 12.

I stumbled across the notebook with these in today - after searching for them in vain a couple of months ago when Millie blogged about her "pretentious movie reviews" from when she was about 11.

So, I thought I'd share some of them with you because....well, I don't know why, to be quite honest, as they're so obnoxious and drivelsome (copyrighted!)

[Grammar and spelling intact!]

My Fair Lady

Wonderfully expensive looking musical that goes from high points to low points. It seems to drag on for an awful long time but the brilliant cast make it well worth watching. A lot of the songs are in actual fact more like soliloquays, but nevertheless it is a thoroughly enjoyable film for all the family. ****

Blossoms In The Dust

This is my favourite Greer Garson film of all time. Greer plays her part to perfection and it is such a POWERFUL performance. She has a leading [it actually looked like "leeching" man...but that was just my horrific handwriting!] man (Walter Pidgeon) for 20-30 minutes but after that for about another 70-90 minutes She is the only principal. Lesser actresses would have crumpled and so ruined the film, but Greer is at her most glorious best. The only fault I can pick with it, is that it is quite along time before you actually feel interested and not ready to turn it off and watch Dream Wife as I was! But once you get past the 20-25 minute mark, it's quite impossible to switch off! *****

[I don't remember a time when I didn't like Walter Pidgeon, but it seems as though I used to only enjoyed the film after he'd been killed off! ;D )

All About Eve

Extremely enjoyable film. Probably Bette Davis' best [WHAT!?] and if you are familiar with her you will soon be able to tell why. It seems to have been made for her [oh my word!]. The film and her character of Margo Channing. It oozes the bitchiness [ :| ] of an old stage actress being moved into the shadows of a new actress [yeah, because I really knew about that!]. Old film fans and people with show-bizzy tendencies [*cringes*] will have a field day! *****

Cheaper By The Dozen

When I watched this I thought "Ok, I get it. At the end, ill looking Myrna is going to die and Daddy will start thinking about his 12 kids more instead of inventing ways to have a bath in 2 minutes!". But no, I was all wrong. So I have a grudge against this film. But I watch it to enjoy Myrna's steller performance. It's enjoyable but very clichéd. It is a great family film though and perfect for a lazy Sunday afternoon. ***

[That has to be one of the worst reviews the world has ever known!]

I would post some more but some of them are so ridiculous and horrific that it wouldn't be fair to unleash them on the world! ;D

My Joan Crawford: The Signature Collection (you have to say it like one of those annoying voice-overs in ads for razors or aftershave! ;D ) box set came today, so that's rather exciting! (I never thought I'd be saying that about anything to do with Joan...) It amuses my childish mind that The Star came today too - do you think Bette and Joan fought as they were pushed through the letter box!? ;D



Well, that's all for today! I hope you're all having nicer weather than we're having here!

2 comments:

  1. AHAHAHAHAHA! THIS IS HYSTERICAL BRILLIANCE!

    "soliloquays" is JUST the word to describe Rex Harrison's singing! ;-D

    I know what you're saying about lesser actresses...THEY ARE ALWAYS CRUMPLING WHEN WALTER PIDGEON GET'S KILLED OFF! Sheesh! Weaklings! ;-D

    I loved this whole post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ;D I thought you'd like them! Yours where so much funnier though: "I didn't like Spencer Tracy, but then again, I usually don't" - or something like that! :P

    You have to love it though ;D

    HAHAHAAHA, all except Greer! ;D Greer could never be anything less than magnificent!

    Why thank you!

    ReplyDelete

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